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I AM HANDSOME

 

Mi-a vajait capul zilele acestea si constant imi venea in minte declaratia acestui mistret cu colti de argint, Mr. Tiriac: „Eu, între un hot si un prost, prefer hotul. Dupa hot mai ramâne ceva. Dupa prost, nu mai ramâne nimic”.
 Trebuie sa va descriu pe scurt contextul, ca sa apreciati desertul.
 
Back in the days, am decis ca vreau sa dau la facultate la Bucuresti. Nu aveam chef sa raman in provincie, vroiam sa traiesc urbanismul aglomerat si cosmopolit, sa fiu acolo unde se da big-bangul micro-cosmosului meu.
Am ajuns in Capitala, mi-am gasit primul job pe 3 Octombrie si de atunci muncesc…am maxim 6 ani pe cartea de munca (din 20!), nici cei 3 ani de lucru la Connex nu apar nicaieri. Nu din vina mea…probabil ca profitul ingrosat trebuia sa plece catre Canada…
Nici slujba de la Mall Vitan nu apare nicaieri, turcii nu ne faceau carti de munca. Am aflat cand am vrut sa-mi cumpar frigider in rate si trebuia sa demonstrez venitul…mi-am dat demisia, turcul sef a fost suparat pe mine pentru ca i-am spus in fata ca este un mitocan si ca face o ilegalitate, si m-a dat afara, de fapt, escortata de un bodyguard. Hm…
M-am mutat de 23 de ori de cand am venit in Bucuresti…am avut proprietari care ne dadeau afara din casa de azi pe maine. Nu-mi aduc aminte sa fi vrut vreunul sa facem contract.
Am avut un proprietar care ma vizita, din cand in cand, cu nevasta, ca sa vada ce mai fac…veneau si intrau cu cheia lor, fara sa ma anunte…si verificau usile, dulapurile, practic intrau si faceau o inspectie atenta a bunurilor lor de rahat. M-am mutat de acolo cand fiul vecinei de deasupra m-a fugarit vreo 8 etaje si a smuls salopeta de jeans de pe mine…probabil vroia un viol. Cand am sunat la politie, a zis ca a vrut sa faca o gluma…
Am avut si ani buni. M-am mutat central. Am plecat cu prietenul meu in Europa…am fost avertizati ca in tren la Budapesta ti se fura bagajele, daca te gasesc dormind. Ne-au gasit dormind, da...dar cred ca ne-au dat si cu un spray, pentru ca ne-am trezit in gara la Vienna, trenul fiind garat de ceva timp…ne-au furat cam tot ce aveam la noi, si o suma importanta de bani.
A trecut…
Intre timp viata continua…imi doream sa locuiesc intr-un singur loc si sa am hainele intr-un singur dulap…a durat mult timp, dar s-a intamplat.
Am cumparat, in rate, in sfarsit un apartament in sectorul 1. Yesss!!! La etajul 4, fara lift, dar ce conta…Acum 8 ani mi-au spart casa. Acea casa.
Veneam de la mare, pe o ploaie cumplita…am condus mijind ochii, cu ceva viteza. Ma bucuram si de masina mea noua. Am ajuns la miezul noptii in fata usii, si fara sa apas pe clanta, usa s-a deschis. Am inghetat. Era prima oara intr-un an si jumatate cand plecasem cu totii de acasa si casa fusese lasata goala..,copilul, mic de 1an, ramasese la tara. Politia mi-a spus :” e pont, doamna”. Au venit imbracati in civil, fara macar o legitimatie, au ajuns pe la 1 am si m-au pus sa scriu…si sa scriu, si sa scriu, am facut chiar si desene. Am facut o declaratie de 24 de pagini, care a durat pana la 7 dimineata. Am fost tratata ca si cum eu eram hotul sau…nu, doar gresita ca am plecat de acasa, ca tineam bani in casa si ca aveam bijuterii de aur si bikini de la Victoria Secret. Hotii au furat tot ce conta. Au lasat un blackberry pe masa (cica putea fi detectat usor..) in rest, mi-au furat si bikinii..tot timpul m-am intrebat daca aia erau doar hoti, sau niste hoti perversi. Politia nu a facut nimic. Ba da, mi-a murdarit casa de praf de amprente pe care nu l-am mai scos decat cu o zugraveala generala si nu am mai auzit niciodata de politie de atunci.
 
Doi ani mai tarziu, ne mutam…in noaptea in care am terminat de mutat bagajele, ne-am dus in casa unui prieten la Snagov sa ne tragem sufletul. Ni l-am tras…a doua zi, plecam in Croatia si am trecut pe acasa sa-mi iau pasaportul. Nu am mai gasit mare lucru…ne sparsesera casa din nou. Stiind ca politia nu face nimic, ne-am bagat picioarele…de ce sa ne mai murdareasca peretii degeaba?!? Logic! Nu am observat ca ne-au furat si cutia cu acte in care se afla si a doua cheie la masina…Pasaportul a scapat, nici acum nu stiu cum.
 
4 zile mai tarziu, eram in aeroport in Zagreb, pe drumul de intoarcere, cumparam ulei de masline si ciuperci cu trufe in borcan, pentru o cina rafinata din casa cea noua…mama m-a sunat sa ma intrebe daca m-am intors…caci masina nu mai este in fata casei. Am scos cu calm uleiul de masline si trufele din cos, caci stiam ca urmeaza o perioada grea…nu mai aveam masina, eram deja furati de doua ori…trufe ne mai trebuiesc?!?
 
Cativa ani mai tarziu, planuiesc cu prietena mea sa ne intalnim la Sofia, pentru doua zile…ea venea de la Barcelona si nu ne vazusem de cateva luni, eu din Ro, dupa o perioada aglomerata si stresanta. Intotdeauna mi-a placut drumul catre Sofia, aveam si niste prieteni buni acolo, simteam un vibe bun…
Imbarcare, pregatire si drum…
 
Sa ma intorc un pic la origini. Cand am plecat la Bucuresti, toata lumea mi-a spus ca e un oras mare, plin de impostori si sa am grija de mine. Am fost avertizata cu privire la proprietari, la modul cum functioneaza si ce trebuie sa induri. Am fost avertizata cu privire la toate cartierele in care m-am mutat. Culmea, toata lumea stia ca se fura bagajele in tren la Budapesta!
Toata lumea stia ca se sparg casele, ca se fura, ca e saracie…ca se sparg case cand te muti, ca trebuie sa-ti pui alarma inainte sa faci o miscare… Singurul moment in care nu am fost avertizata, a fost furtul primei masini…dar nu a durat mult, cand in sfarsit am chemat politia, m-au facut chiar “tampita” pentru ca trebuia sa stiu ca atunci cand se sparge casa cauti daca nu ti-a disparut a doua cheie la masina si suni la politie, evident!
Le-am explicat ca doar ce ne-am mutat, ca totul era inca impachetat…whatever, am fost un prost.
 
Am fost un prost, in tot acest timp. Stiam, am fost avertizata. Stiam ca nu trebuie sa ma mut in Bucuresti. Stiam ca proprietarii sunt si ei niste hoti. Stiam ca poti fi violat si daca chiar o patesti, e vina ta. Stiam ca companille nu fac carti de munca tocmai pentru ca si ele “ciupesc” un pic si de la tine si de la stat si stiam ca suntem doar o tara de hoti…cu cativa prosti. Si Bulgaria la fel!
 
Intoarcere la momentul Sofia, care s-a petrecut saptamana trecuta.
 
Asadar ma vad cu niste prieteni la Control si le spun ca nu pot sta prea mult pentru ca maine plec la Sofia…cruising. Toti ma intreaba, automat, cu ce masina plec. Ei bine, plec cu masina mea.
“-Ai grija, ca ti se fura masina.”
“-Hei guys, asta cu furatul masinii, era prin ’90-97 cand Bulgaria a avut mari problem financiare…etc…”
 
fiecare isi dadea cu parerea.
 
Plec, totusi, asa cum am facut toate lucrurlle in viata mea, cu credinta ca lumea in care traiesc nu e chiar o jungla si ca viata nu se imparte (vorba lui Tiriac) numai intre hoti si prosti…
Am ajuns cu bine, drumul a fost cu soarele batand din fata, cu muzica buna, cu o cafea cu gheata de la OMV. Divin. Am iesit seara la restaurant si am mancat pate de ficat cu cognac si nu stiu ce alte delicatese, un vin alb-divin.
Ne-am trezit de dimineata si hopa! Unde e masina?! Sunam sa verificam daca a fost ridicata…fara speranta. Ajungem prin niste parcari unde niste bulgari simpatici ne complimentau frumusetea si cu tristete ne spuneau ca masina noastra nu e la ei…stabilim, de-a rasul- plansul ca de fapt a fost furata. Incredibil, paradoxal, dar toata lumea stia ca va fi furata…cum naiba de n-am stiut eu?!
Cu fata putin palida, ceva machiaj imprastiat, nu prea mult, ne asezam noi: eu, prietena mea si un prieten bulgar (om salvator, care a stiut sa sune unde trebuie, sa vorbeasca cu toti tampitii (politistii lor sunt identici cu ai nostril) a tradus, semnat, mi-a prezentat orasul din dubita -fiind escortati de catre politie catre sectie ca sa dam declaratie), la o masa intr-un restaurant sa ne tragem sufletul si sa mancam.
Ospatarul, un tip inalt, simpatic, la peste 50 de ani, il intreaba pe T. cine sunt doamnele astea cam suparate si de unde sunt, si adauga SHE IS BEAUTIFUL...ii raspunde si noi comentam ” hai, come on, cine e frumos de aici, azi, acum, dupa toata deznadejdea?!?..
Ospatarul se intoarce cu comanda, si T. ii spune ca suntem din Romania, ca doar ce mi s-a furat masina si ca sunt cam suparata si ca Bulgaria s-a cam facut de kkt…omu’, jenat, zambeste si ii spune “bine, spune-I atunci ca SHE’S HANDSOME”
Am ras ceva…
 
M-am intors acasa, la cele doua categorii umane clar definite, identice in ambele tari, la hoti si la prosti si am avut un singur moment de seninatate in ultimele 48 de ore…poate sunt prost, dar sunt handsome!
 
Drumul de intoarcere, cu tolba goala, cu un ochi care rade si unul care plange, a fost un drum de 5 ore in care m-am intrebat continuu daca merita sa-mi pierd increderea in tara asta, in oameni, In viata…daca am chef sa ma las coplesita de toata hotia cu care viata m-a servit de cand ma stiu, daca am chef sa-mi cresc copilul cu frica zilei de maine, daca am chef sa continui prietenii cu oameni de care ma indoiesc ca sunt din categoria celor prosti, daca am chef sa merg sa-mi fac parul in salonul vreunei sotii de pisicher, daca am chef sa-mi pierd seninatatea si increderea. E o alegere sa vrei sa fii om tot timpul, in orice conditie, oricand. Nu inseamna ca e usor, dar asa cum muncesti sa-ti achizitionezi o masina usor de furat, asa trebuie sa muncesti cu tine zi de zi sa nu ajungi un bou frustrat. Si munca de a ramane om nu ti-o poate fura nimeni, si asigurarea e gratuita.
Am intrebat-o pe fiica-mea (are 8 ani) daca ar fi sa aleaga intre hoti si prosti, ce va alege? Si senina mi-a zis “ mama, condoleante pentru masina si aleg prostii…
Azi s–a trezit singura la 6:30 ca sa ajungem in timp, pe jos, la scoala.
Si ea e handsome…suntem mai sarace ca alaltaieri, dar mai cool ca ieri si mai pregatite pentru maine.
Ea e prostul care ramane dupa prostul din mine.
Nb. Din pacate,  sunt omise detalii extrem de charmante din respect pentru cei care au fost direct implicati in povestile mele...o sa le multumesc in scris, intr-o zi. 

23 Responses

Maria Willie

Maria Willie

March 20, 2023

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MichaelBlopy

MichaelBlopy

August 25, 2020

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MichaelBlopy

August 25, 2020

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MichaelBlopy

MichaelBlopy

August 25, 2020

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Hallо typ! Jеtzt bin ich in deinеr Stаdt und iсh moсhtе wirkliсh Spa? hаben, ich liebе Sex wirкliсh: http://n00.uk/aGOKQ?w=ADULT-DATING
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MichaelBlopy

MichaelBlopy

August 25, 2020

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MichaelBlopy

August 25, 2020

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MichaelBlopy

MichaelBlopy

August 25, 2020

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MichaelBlopy

August 25, 2020

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MichaelBlopy

August 25, 2020

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August 23, 2020

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August 23, 2020

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Kennethlal

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August 23, 2020

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Нey hei?er Kеrl! Ich mochtе dich wirкlich аbsaugen und mеine Jungfraulichкеit mit dir verliеren: https://onlineuniversalwork.com/fsdsur813702?w=ADULT-DATING-SEX
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August 23, 2020

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August 23, 2020

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Наllo tуp! Iсh bin noсh Jungfrаu, abеr ich moсhte, dаss du miсh in den Arsсh ziehst: https://mupt.de/amz/fsdsur545499?q=ADULT-DATING-SEX
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Kennethlal

Kennethlal

August 23, 2020

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Наllo tуp! Iсh bin noсh Jungfrаu, abеr ich moсhte, dаss du miсh in den Arsсh ziehst: https://mupt.de/amz/fsdsur545499?q=ADULT-DATING-SEX
Нey hei?er Kеrl! Ich mochtе dich wirкlich аbsaugen und mеine Jungfraulichкеit mit dir verliеren: https://onlineuniversalwork.com/fsdsur813702?w=ADULT-DATING-SEX
Нey Jungе! Ich moсhtе wirkliсh, dass du mich in allе Loсher fickst: https://s.coop/fsdsur650896?q=ADULT-DATING
Hеy Maсho! Ich mochtе, dаss du mеine Jungfrauliсhкеit nimmst, mеin Profil ist hier: https://links.wtf/p1N9?e=ADULT-DATING-SEX
Нallо tуp! Iсh bin in deiner Stadt und iсh moсhte, dаss du mеinе Jungfrauliсhkeit nimmst: https://jtbtigers.com/nbjufj943929?w=ADULT-DATING-SEX

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August 04, 2020

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This attitude – assuming that any romantic relationship with a white man wouldn’t work because our differing skin colour means our life experiences would just be too different – is one reason prejudice perpetuates in dating.
Granted, the Persian tradition is different. But every tradition also have change and move with time. A Million Persians live outside Iran and have little or no access to an appropriate environment in which they can look out for suitable partners. Delbara principle: Love is more than a coincidence! There are many Dating Sites and Single Sites for Marriage and Friendship or Iranian personals that are supposed to be the best and greatest. Most oft hem do not even reach the minimum standard of a German personality site. Missing Term Of Use, Cookie Policy, Disclaimer or Privacy Policy or the responsible people behind it are not visible. Often not even can tell where the server is located and whether the user data is safe. But we also must unfortunately find that many “false profiles” are stored on most pages. These are just fictitious profiles.
2. Coffee Meets Bagel Good things comes to those who wait. At least that’s the premise of this niche dating app. Users are offered up one match everyday at noon (aka “a bagel”) who they likely share mutual friends with on Facebook. They have 24 hours to select or pass. If both parties choose each other, they are given an ice breaker question (like “Which bars do you have bookmarked on Yelp?” and “What’s your favorite late night snack?”) to get the ball rolling. The app is geared toward urban young professionals—NYU, Columbia, and the University of Pennsylvania are the most popular alma maters.
What to Know About Sex and Dating Apps Before Jumping into Bed (or a Relationship) With a Stranger.
It’s only the third single to bow in the tally’s top 10 in its 19-year history. She ties for the highest debut by a woman with Whitney Houston’s “Exhale (Shoop Shoop)” (Nov. 4, 1995). Only Luther Vandross has debuted higher: at No. 5 with “Your Secret Love” on Aug. 24, 1996. “Lately” was launched Aug. 6 with hourly play across Clear Channel’s urban adult stations, aiding its 882-detection debut according to Nielsen BDS.

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August 04, 2020

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This attitude – assuming that any romantic relationship with a white man wouldn’t work because our differing skin colour means our life experiences would just be too different – is one reason prejudice perpetuates in dating.
Granted, the Persian tradition is different. But every tradition also have change and move with time. A Million Persians live outside Iran and have little or no access to an appropriate environment in which they can look out for suitable partners. Delbara principle: Love is more than a coincidence! There are many Dating Sites and Single Sites for Marriage and Friendship or Iranian personals that are supposed to be the best and greatest. Most oft hem do not even reach the minimum standard of a German personality site. Missing Term Of Use, Cookie Policy, Disclaimer or Privacy Policy or the responsible people behind it are not visible. Often not even can tell where the server is located and whether the user data is safe. But we also must unfortunately find that many “false profiles” are stored on most pages. These are just fictitious profiles.
2. Coffee Meets Bagel Good things comes to those who wait. At least that’s the premise of this niche dating app. Users are offered up one match everyday at noon (aka “a bagel”) who they likely share mutual friends with on Facebook. They have 24 hours to select or pass. If both parties choose each other, they are given an ice breaker question (like “Which bars do you have bookmarked on Yelp?” and “What’s your favorite late night snack?”) to get the ball rolling. The app is geared toward urban young professionals—NYU, Columbia, and the University of Pennsylvania are the most popular alma maters.
What to Know About Sex and Dating Apps Before Jumping into Bed (or a Relationship) With a Stranger.
It’s only the third single to bow in the tally’s top 10 in its 19-year history. She ties for the highest debut by a woman with Whitney Houston’s “Exhale (Shoop Shoop)” (Nov. 4, 1995). Only Luther Vandross has debuted higher: at No. 5 with “Your Secret Love” on Aug. 24, 1996. “Lately” was launched Aug. 6 with hourly play across Clear Channel’s urban adult stations, aiding its 882-detection debut according to Nielsen BDS.

Anthonyjix

Anthonyjix

August 04, 2020

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This attitude – assuming that any romantic relationship with a white man wouldn’t work because our differing skin colour means our life experiences would just be too different – is one reason prejudice perpetuates in dating.
Granted, the Persian tradition is different. But every tradition also have change and move with time. A Million Persians live outside Iran and have little or no access to an appropriate environment in which they can look out for suitable partners. Delbara principle: Love is more than a coincidence! There are many Dating Sites and Single Sites for Marriage and Friendship or Iranian personals that are supposed to be the best and greatest. Most oft hem do not even reach the minimum standard of a German personality site. Missing Term Of Use, Cookie Policy, Disclaimer or Privacy Policy or the responsible people behind it are not visible. Often not even can tell where the server is located and whether the user data is safe. But we also must unfortunately find that many “false profiles” are stored on most pages. These are just fictitious profiles.
2. Coffee Meets Bagel Good things comes to those who wait. At least that’s the premise of this niche dating app. Users are offered up one match everyday at noon (aka “a bagel”) who they likely share mutual friends with on Facebook. They have 24 hours to select or pass. If both parties choose each other, they are given an ice breaker question (like “Which bars do you have bookmarked on Yelp?” and “What’s your favorite late night snack?”) to get the ball rolling. The app is geared toward urban young professionals—NYU, Columbia, and the University of Pennsylvania are the most popular alma maters.
What to Know About Sex and Dating Apps Before Jumping into Bed (or a Relationship) With a Stranger.
It’s only the third single to bow in the tally’s top 10 in its 19-year history. She ties for the highest debut by a woman with Whitney Houston’s “Exhale (Shoop Shoop)” (Nov. 4, 1995). Only Luther Vandross has debuted higher: at No. 5 with “Your Secret Love” on Aug. 24, 1996. “Lately” was launched Aug. 6 with hourly play across Clear Channel’s urban adult stations, aiding its 882-detection debut according to Nielsen BDS.

Anthonyjix

Anthonyjix

August 04, 2020

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This attitude – assuming that any romantic relationship with a white man wouldn’t work because our differing skin colour means our life experiences would just be too different – is one reason prejudice perpetuates in dating.
Granted, the Persian tradition is different. But every tradition also have change and move with time. A Million Persians live outside Iran and have little or no access to an appropriate environment in which they can look out for suitable partners. Delbara principle: Love is more than a coincidence! There are many Dating Sites and Single Sites for Marriage and Friendship or Iranian personals that are supposed to be the best and greatest. Most oft hem do not even reach the minimum standard of a German personality site. Missing Term Of Use, Cookie Policy, Disclaimer or Privacy Policy or the responsible people behind it are not visible. Often not even can tell where the server is located and whether the user data is safe. But we also must unfortunately find that many “false profiles” are stored on most pages. These are just fictitious profiles.
2. Coffee Meets Bagel Good things comes to those who wait. At least that’s the premise of this niche dating app. Users are offered up one match everyday at noon (aka “a bagel”) who they likely share mutual friends with on Facebook. They have 24 hours to select or pass. If both parties choose each other, they are given an ice breaker question (like “Which bars do you have bookmarked on Yelp?” and “What’s your favorite late night snack?”) to get the ball rolling. The app is geared toward urban young professionals—NYU, Columbia, and the University of Pennsylvania are the most popular alma maters.
What to Know About Sex and Dating Apps Before Jumping into Bed (or a Relationship) With a Stranger.
It’s only the third single to bow in the tally’s top 10 in its 19-year history. She ties for the highest debut by a woman with Whitney Houston’s “Exhale (Shoop Shoop)” (Nov. 4, 1995). Only Luther Vandross has debuted higher: at No. 5 with “Your Secret Love” on Aug. 24, 1996. “Lately” was launched Aug. 6 with hourly play across Clear Channel’s urban adult stations, aiding its 882-detection debut according to Nielsen BDS.

Anthonyjix

Anthonyjix

August 04, 2020

ADULT BESТЕN KANADISСНЕN KОSTЕNLOSEN DАTING-SITЕS: http://6i9.co/4UiI
DАТUМ FUR SЕХ IN IНRER SТADT: http://alsi.ga/adultsexdating819544
FRAUEN FUR SЕХ IN IНRЕR STADT | DЕUTSCНLАND, OSTЕRREIСH, SCНWEIZ, BЕLGIЕN: http://fund.school/adultsexdating116167
МADCНЕN SUCHЕN SEХ IN IHRER SТADТ: http://freeurlredirect.com/adultsexdating627984
SЕXY FRАUЕN IN DEINЕR SТАDТ SUСHЕN NACH DАTING: https://jtbtigers.com/adultsexdating984795

This attitude – assuming that any romantic relationship with a white man wouldn’t work because our differing skin colour means our life experiences would just be too different – is one reason prejudice perpetuates in dating.
Granted, the Persian tradition is different. But every tradition also have change and move with time. A Million Persians live outside Iran and have little or no access to an appropriate environment in which they can look out for suitable partners. Delbara principle: Love is more than a coincidence! There are many Dating Sites and Single Sites for Marriage and Friendship or Iranian personals that are supposed to be the best and greatest. Most oft hem do not even reach the minimum standard of a German personality site. Missing Term Of Use, Cookie Policy, Disclaimer or Privacy Policy or the responsible people behind it are not visible. Often not even can tell where the server is located and whether the user data is safe. But we also must unfortunately find that many “false profiles” are stored on most pages. These are just fictitious profiles.
2. Coffee Meets Bagel Good things comes to those who wait. At least that’s the premise of this niche dating app. Users are offered up one match everyday at noon (aka “a bagel”) who they likely share mutual friends with on Facebook. They have 24 hours to select or pass. If both parties choose each other, they are given an ice breaker question (like “Which bars do you have bookmarked on Yelp?” and “What’s your favorite late night snack?”) to get the ball rolling. The app is geared toward urban young professionals—NYU, Columbia, and the University of Pennsylvania are the most popular alma maters.
What to Know About Sex and Dating Apps Before Jumping into Bed (or a Relationship) With a Stranger.
It’s only the third single to bow in the tally’s top 10 in its 19-year history. She ties for the highest debut by a woman with Whitney Houston’s “Exhale (Shoop Shoop)” (Nov. 4, 1995). Only Luther Vandross has debuted higher: at No. 5 with “Your Secret Love” on Aug. 24, 1996. “Lately” was launched Aug. 6 with hourly play across Clear Channel’s urban adult stations, aiding its 882-detection debut according to Nielsen BDS.

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